‘Guard your heart, for out of it flows the issues of life.’
As most of you know, my firstborn son was in a tragic car accident a few weeks ago. On October 24th, Christiano went home to be with The Lord. It has been the truest, most real pain I’ve ever known. Chris and I had Christiano when were babies, ourselves, and he is the founder of The Barbosa Family. I came to know Christ in 1999, when Christiano was four years old. As the years grew on, Christ became our very firm foundation. So quickly, God became ‘all I ever knew,’ and my old life was put behind me. No longer did I know the girl I was before The Lord. So, when I say faith is the only life I know, I mean it wholeheartedly. I put off the former things and devoted my heart and entire being to following Christ. As I learned more and grew in the Word, I was coming to KNOW Christ, and there’s nothing like it. Knowing Him has been my true heart quest for years. The more I KNOW Him the more I believe on His word, the more I trust in His promises, and the more I become like Him, and I’ve decided that this tragedy will not change that for me. As a grieving mom, there’s times I’m desperate for answers. The first day, all I could utter was ‘Why, God, why?’ One of the very first things God spoke to my heart was ‘Do not bring me down to a level you can understand.’ I have done my best to listen to that command. When God spoke that to me, I wasn’t exactly sure what he meant. I knew what the words meant, but I wasn’t sure how those words would keep me or help me. A few days later, when I was ready to browse some books or quotes on loss, I understood exactly why God spoke those words; those Words were to save me from a place that many broken people end up. Dealing with the loss of a child is a pain unimaginable, so as parents, we become desperate to understand why God would allow such evil. The temptation is to take scripture and twist it or to try and come to terms with the reason why it could have happened is strong. Truthfully, the only term I desire to accept is Gods’. He is STILL love. He is STILL good. He is STILL faithful. He is STILL healer. He is STILL provider. God doesn’t change. He is the same yesterday, today, and forever. So, I’m careful – careful about what I read, what I hear, and what I accept. In loss, people are so desperate to be there for us, and they want to say the right thing and do the right thing. Many will, but some won’t. My encouragement to anyone suffering with loss or heartache today:
-Reach out to God
-Reach out to that like-minded friend
-Find people who don’t mind listening
-Guard your heart and keep His word hidden in it.
I will write more on the life and passing of my son as The Lord leads me. Thank you to all of our faithful friends. Your love has been a living example of God and His love. Great will be your reward.
Forever in Christ,