When God uses your deepest pain to bring forth His unfathomable Joy, it is incredibly powerful and unexplainably fulfilling.
It can be hard to go from a high like that back to a regular life. Each time I walk away from speaking at a conference, praying for someone who is hurting, sharing my testimony, or writing a powerful passage in my book – it takes some adjusting to enter back into my regular routine. I always think, ‘if only I could do this every day! If only this could be my profession.’
God has spoken some things to my heart in regards to all of it. One day, and it may come soon, this will be what I do as profession – as a constant lifestyle. But, for now, I am continuing to praise Him in the preparation phase.
This morning, as I was getting ready for my first day at my new job, I realized that I didn’t have black boots to go with my outfit. You see… I was wearing all black and gray, so, black boots would’ve gone perfectly with what I was wearing. But, I remembered that my black booties had a hole in one of the heels. I ended up having to wear my brown ones, which clashed a bit, but it was better than clucking through the hollow hallways of the school on my very first day.
I thought to myself, ‘if only I had some black boots. I really need to get myself some new black boots.’ I quickly dismissed the thought, chalking it up as selfish. It’s Christmas time, why would I choose now to buy anything for myself?!?! ‘Maybe in January, I could get some boots. Or maybe in March when they go on clearance…’ I thought.
When I got home from work today, I checked my mailbox. There were the usual Christmas cards and utility bills, and college letters for Gabriella. One of the Christmas cards was from my great aunt. I was really excited to open it because I haven’t seen her in a really long time – actually, since I was a child. It was a beautiful Christmas card alright, but also in it was a handwritten letter of encouragement to me and many congratulatory words about my new job. And then there were these words:
I would like you to buy something you need. I remember when your cousin made her first communion. All the parents had to kneel at the altar. I did not want to because I had a large hole in the pole of my shoe and I was embarrassed. I am not a wealthy woman, but I appreciate so much more now. You are doing a spectacular job with your family. God bless you all.
Also enclosed was a check.
God doesn’t see it as selfish when we ask Him for things. He’s our Father and wants to bless us, just as we do our kids. While we moms are busy trying to find that perfect gift for that perfect loved one, God is trying to get the perfect gift to us. I continue to be blown away by a God who cares even for the tiniest desires hidden away in my heart. I’ll never quite understand how anyone can doubt him. A mighty and holy God cares about my non- essential hole-y shoe.
Just as He cares about the little things, He wants us to as well. Sometimes, the tasks that we deem as menial actually mean the most. That smile that we give somebody, that ear that we lend, that shoulder we offer… keep going! The Lord sees you, and He cares for you!